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Anna Pumer, wedding and portrait photographer and founder of Kick Ass Photographers, on swapping journalism for taking pictures, using her cats to get business and why awards culture nearly made her quit.

I became a photographer in the usual way I do things: without thinking, two feet first, based on not very much. I was travelling Canada with my first DSLR and a boy I met told me I take nice pictures and that I should be a wedding photographer. I like change and challenges, so I didn’t need much more encouragement than that. I put together a website, went on a two-day workshop and set up a stand at a wedding fair. I was fully booked almost immediately (ah the good old days when there weren’t a million other photographers pitching themselves as “alternative”). I quit my day job in magazine editing as soon as I could. This was seven years ago and I haven’t looked back. In those seven years I found my stride, my tribe and my ideal client (mad cat lovers – my cats have got me more bookings than you’d imagine!).

But then, in 2017, something so silly happened. You know sometimes in life when it really doesn’t take much to tip you over the edge? This was one of those moments, and it almost ruined my business.

Up until this point I’d believed in myself. I thought I was doing well, was good at my job and starting to get recognition.

I’d applied for a few awards over the years, such as Fearless, but nothing had ever come of them. My dream though – my ultimate career goal – was the Rangefinder Rising Stars. You can only apply by invitation, which comes from a nomination from past winners and other industry people, and you can only apply in your first five years as a full-time photographer – so time was ticking. In 2017, a previous winner asked her community who she should nominate. When seven people suggested me, I was elated. My time had come.

I didn’t get nominated.

I started to wonder: am I actually really crap? Does everyone hate me?

“It awakened me. It set me free. I suddenly realised my self worth didn’t lie in awards.”

It got me down. It’s stupid, but it really bummed me out. I thought – if seven people think I’m worthy, but I didn’t even get nominated, am I really worth it? I figured the answer was no. (I told you it was silly.)

I decided to give up wedding photography. I stopped marketing myself and stopped making efforts with my SEO. I’d been at number one on Google for my top keywords – a hard-earned ranking. It tanked. My competitors overtook me. I book almost all my weddings within the year, so the effect was immediate and quite devastating. The knock-on effect was that 2018 was a quiet year, with 16 weddings. I’d been shooting at 30-35 weddings a year up to that point. Of course, I immediately regretted not believing in myself enough to carry on.

The next year, 2018 (the last year was eligible as you have to be fewer than five years full time in business), I was finally nominated. I was so excited, this was my chance! I felt good about myself again, I felt positive and worthy and confident again.

I didn’t win.

This should have made me feel even worse, but it didn’t. It awakened me. It set me free. I suddenly realised my self worth didn’t lie in awards. My couples love working with me, and don’t need someone else to validate my work and what I bring to a wedding.

I also realised wedding awards are mostly bullshit. They’re based on votes from whatever randomers you can get to click on your link, or they’re looking for a very specific aesthetic. It’s a numbers game; a who-you-know game. It depends on your style of photography – maybe it’s not right for that award. Does that means your work is wrong? Hell no.

I learned that as long as I’m happy with my work and what I do for my clients, and my clients are happy, that’s all that matters. Not having an award lowered my bookings, not for the reason you’d expect – but because I let it get to me and my business suffered as a result of my neglect. I feel free now. And so much happier.

I still think awards have their place – they’re a signpost to your couples that you’re recognised for what you do, but make sure they’re not based on how much you pay or how many friends you have.

You can find Anna’s work at annapumerphotography.com

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